Why do we do the things we do, even when we don't want to?
More than often, it seems like no matter how hard we try to, we still end up hurting the ones who mean the most to us.
But something I've come to realise is that, sometimes it's just meant to be... We don't learn to treasure what's important to us, unless we realise how much less of us there'll be when it's gone...
so, it happens.
But more than that, the question is :will you then hold onto what's truly important?
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Starting Over
Give me one pure and holy passion,
Give me on magnificent obsession,
Give me one glorious ambition for my life,
To know and follow hard after You.
To know and follow hard after You,
To grow as Your disciple in Your truth,
This world is empty, pale and poor,
Compared to knowing You my Lord.
Lead me on and I will run after You,
Lead me on and I will run after You.
Oh God, where on the path did I begin to lose my step?
Where did I lose sight of the goal that was set before me?
It's scary to think how much has changed in just a matter of months and to know that it was my own doing.
It was my own fault.
I decided that I knew what was best for my life, that I'd be the king of my lil' own kingdom. But in doing so, I cut down the size of my life to living for myself and I failed to see that all that's left was an empty shell of who I was, who You'd have wanted me to be.
And I'm sorry, God.
The warning signs were clear, and yet I plunged on ignoring all of them. I wanted adventure, excitement and control. But all I did was ruin my life and the lives of the people around me.
I hurt more than myself - the people who loved me, my friends, my family and even You.
But God, I know my mistake. I've seen what it is like to live life apart from You and - it's utterly empty. Forgive me God, bring me back close to You.
May You once again be, my one and only Magnificent Obsession.
Give me on magnificent obsession,
Give me one glorious ambition for my life,
To know and follow hard after You.
To know and follow hard after You,
To grow as Your disciple in Your truth,
This world is empty, pale and poor,
Compared to knowing You my Lord.
Lead me on and I will run after You,
Lead me on and I will run after You.
Oh God, where on the path did I begin to lose my step?
Where did I lose sight of the goal that was set before me?
It's scary to think how much has changed in just a matter of months and to know that it was my own doing.
It was my own fault.
I decided that I knew what was best for my life, that I'd be the king of my lil' own kingdom. But in doing so, I cut down the size of my life to living for myself and I failed to see that all that's left was an empty shell of who I was, who You'd have wanted me to be.
And I'm sorry, God.
The warning signs were clear, and yet I plunged on ignoring all of them. I wanted adventure, excitement and control. But all I did was ruin my life and the lives of the people around me.
I hurt more than myself - the people who loved me, my friends, my family and even You.
But God, I know my mistake. I've seen what it is like to live life apart from You and - it's utterly empty. Forgive me God, bring me back close to You.
May You once again be, my one and only Magnificent Obsession.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
The Next Chapter
And so, the story begins.
Unlike any other tale, where there is a definite start and end. For what is there to a story, if there was an end to begin with? What matters, is the people who gave reason to its existence - significance to its birth.
This story begins with a girl called Julianna - her hair the smell of a warm summer's day, eyes radiant as the golden sun and a laugh that sings a thousand songs in your heart. Of what I can remember, Julianna really loved a good pie, one that her mother, Christine, would make every Tuesday. Oh, how she would dance and twirl to the sounds of pots clanging in the kitchen. Her mother would say, "Oh Julianna, Julianna, stop going bananas."
One fine evening, Julianna was sitting on the porch, gazing at the trees as they danced to the tune of the winds. She wondered, how could there be so much life in what was a little willow.
The tree couldn't sing, but yet its magnificent strong trunk sang of beauty unrivalled.
The tree couldn't talk, but yet its withering leaves whispered words, unspoken of a time that was and now longer wasn't.
The tree couldn't cry, but yet its branches reached out into the high heavens, searching for comfort from its Giver of life.
There were so many trees in the neighbourhood, but none like this. Oh no, this tree was different. It spoke life into her little being.
Unlike any other tale, where there is a definite start and end. For what is there to a story, if there was an end to begin with? What matters, is the people who gave reason to its existence - significance to its birth.
This story begins with a girl called Julianna - her hair the smell of a warm summer's day, eyes radiant as the golden sun and a laugh that sings a thousand songs in your heart. Of what I can remember, Julianna really loved a good pie, one that her mother, Christine, would make every Tuesday. Oh, how she would dance and twirl to the sounds of pots clanging in the kitchen. Her mother would say, "Oh Julianna, Julianna, stop going bananas."
One fine evening, Julianna was sitting on the porch, gazing at the trees as they danced to the tune of the winds. She wondered, how could there be so much life in what was a little willow.
The tree couldn't sing, but yet its magnificent strong trunk sang of beauty unrivalled.
The tree couldn't talk, but yet its withering leaves whispered words, unspoken of a time that was and now longer wasn't.
The tree couldn't cry, but yet its branches reached out into the high heavens, searching for comfort from its Giver of life.
There were so many trees in the neighbourhood, but none like this. Oh no, this tree was different. It spoke life into her little being.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Where Our Search Ends
Dreams. Ambitions. Desires. Aspirations.
We all have them and we allow them to drive the way we live our lives.
It once said by an unknown author, "That human beings need a reason to exist, to live." And hence, we spend half of our lives exploring half-baked ideas, personal interests and even skills we seem to excel at.
At some point of our life, we do find that one or two things that we are really good at and we are so excited, that we pump in all our time, energy, emotions and even resources to hone that skill. We hope to make much use of it before our time is up and we start to lose our capacity to improve.
But most of the times, we tend to give up easily. When we find that we no longer know how more to improve, when we find someone else who has already done it better than us, when we find something else that we'd like to try and we simply move on.
Just as quickly as we had found the passion and the drive, it slips out of us and we find ourselves dry and empty, searching for the next project that will bring us that same high and euphoria of finding WHO WE ARE.
Even as Christians, we sometimes come before God on our knees, begging Him, "Please Lord, grant me my greatest wish. Help me to find something that I enjoy, something that I'm really good at. And once I've found that, could you help me make that my career, my providence, my life."
A friend of mine found a really good material and she photocopied and excerpt for me. It held a passage from the Gospel of Mark 2:1-5.
This is the account of the paralytic man whose friends brought to Jesus in hope of him being healed and it reads:
We all have them and we allow them to drive the way we live our lives.
It once said by an unknown author, "That human beings need a reason to exist, to live." And hence, we spend half of our lives exploring half-baked ideas, personal interests and even skills we seem to excel at.
At some point of our life, we do find that one or two things that we are really good at and we are so excited, that we pump in all our time, energy, emotions and even resources to hone that skill. We hope to make much use of it before our time is up and we start to lose our capacity to improve.
But most of the times, we tend to give up easily. When we find that we no longer know how more to improve, when we find someone else who has already done it better than us, when we find something else that we'd like to try and we simply move on.
Just as quickly as we had found the passion and the drive, it slips out of us and we find ourselves dry and empty, searching for the next project that will bring us that same high and euphoria of finding WHO WE ARE.
Even as Christians, we sometimes come before God on our knees, begging Him, "Please Lord, grant me my greatest wish. Help me to find something that I enjoy, something that I'm really good at. And once I've found that, could you help me make that my career, my providence, my life."
A friend of mine found a really good material and she photocopied and excerpt for me. It held a passage from the Gospel of Mark 2:1-5.
This is the account of the paralytic man whose friends brought to Jesus in hope of him being healed and it reads:
A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. So many gathered that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to JEsus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."
Isn't it weird, that here there was a man who was paralyzed from head to toe in need of healing and Jesus was all like, "I forgive you." It just didn't make sense on a few levels.
One. Did Jesus misinterpret what the friends and the paralytic was looking for? These brave and loyal friends dug a hole in the roof, lowered a mat with their paralyzed friend down to the feet of Jesus so that he'd be able to walk again, to play soccer with them and to just be normal again. Why did Jesus not get it?
Second. What did the paralyzed man need forgiveness for? There was no previous accounts of the paralytic having met Jesus and doing any wrong to him, so what was up with that?
Third. The teachers of the law were outraged! Who was this Jesus person to say he forgave sins? For they (the teachers) knew that only God could forgive sins!
Right after Jesus had made that statement, he actually presents us the answer, a life-gripping truth from verses 8 - 12 which reads:
Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to the paralytic, 'Your sins are forgiven," or to say, 'Get up, take your mat and walk'? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins..." He said to the paralytic, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." HE got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!"
We know and the paralytic knows, that his deepest wish is to be healed and to be able to walk again. That if he would just be able to walk again, he would never be unhappy again! He would never complain again for the rest of his life and he'd be eternally satisfied.
But Jesus knew better, that such contentment would never last. Because the discontentment of the human heart goes way deeper than any experience this world could ever offer to quench. Jesus knows, that the heart of the problem and the problem of the heart, is sin that enslaves us and keeps us forever thirsty and hungering for more.
You see, Jesus could have easily and simply healed the man and let him be on his way. But that was not Jesus' desire, that was not the reason for which he had come to this earth, to just simply be a genie who grants wishes. He came, to be a Savior - one who would free his people from sin and to bring them into an everlasting relationship with himself. He came, to free us from our endless hungering and thirst for the things of this earth, that we may find total satisfaction and fulfillment in Him.
For the deepest need of human beings, is to be forgiven. Forgiven for our ignorance to God, for our disobedience and our insistant reluctantance to acknowledge Him for who He is - The Creator of all things and the One who would one day return to judge for the way we have lived our lives. The only One who can save and the only one who can redeem His people that we might be acceptable in His sight.
And in order for that to happen, this Savior had to die. For there is a penalty for this sin - of not regarding God for who He is and living in total defiance of that truth. And the penalty is heavy because God is no ordinary human being and as the Righteous Judge, He will not allow such treason to go unpunished, "for the wages of sin is death..." Romans 6:23a
But God proved His love for us in this, "...while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
And this then completes the full and beautiful picture of God's saving plan for man in the whole verse of Romans 6:23 which reads, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
The question we have to ask ourselves is, have we come to know this Jesus personally?
Have we come to grasp with the truth that we are in need of saving from ourselves, from our insatious hunger for self-fulfillment?
Have we come to see what it really means to give our dreams, our brokenness and our lives to our Lord, that He may lead us in the way of eternal life so that we may no longer be stumbling around trying to find our way in this life?
I pray for us all, that we come to contend with this great truth that God has given to us in His word.
"And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?"
Mark 8:34 - 36
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Treasure
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. - Matt 6:21
"To be a Christian means to have located your identity, your worth, your value in Jesus, He has become your treasure."
~Journey to the Cross~
When the day drew near,
The day the disciples had come to fear.
The Lord set his face on the path,
The road that would be his last.
Although He knew from the start,
That from his Father he would part.
He bore the weight of that cross,
Every step a cry of love and obedience.
O where is our treasure?
He has gone on to the grave
O where is our treasure?
His death he has embraced
O where is our treasure?
A body laid on the stone
O where is our Treasure?
He has risen, with the power that saves!
Thursday, March 7, 2013
God and His sense of humour
I don't know if this is brinking on being blasphemous, but I really think God has an awesome sense of humour.
I mean look at the many instances where Jesus let his disciples wet their pants, walking over the water, sleeping through a storm, what a trollolol! Yet He only intends good for them.
In my own life, there were also many times where I felt like God had left me on my own to kinda work it out, and that scared me, that scared me a lot.
Like this dang Uni application thing, it's such a bother! All my poly life, I didn't consider carefully how the decisions I make and the actions I took would affect it. I chose to intentionally ignore it, under the cover, "Let tomorrow worry for itself, for today I will just learn to faithfully do what God has placed before me." Don't get me wrong, I do believe in that statement and I believe firmly in it. Sometimes we just worry to much about everything around us that we end up not doing anything positive at all! But this uni application revealed to me something about myself that I had hidden for a long time, from God (well, I tried), from the people around me and even myself.
I'm a runner. (Well yeah I guess I can run kinda fast)
But not that kind of athlete, I'm a runner in the sense that I like to run away from things that require me to plant my foot down.
The first instance I can remember, is during my first two relationships in Secondary school.
I ran away from those because I was so afraid of getting hurt, of not only letting them down, but letting myself down. I did get back into one of those relationships in the end, and I really thought wow this could be it, this is the one and I'm ready to give my life to her and for her. But yeah u see, this is where God's wonderful sense of humour comes in. He put in me the fear, the fear of failing Him and of disappointing Him and I just couldn't have that. After a talk with one of my best bros, I decided that it was better of to end it. I realised that it was only on hind sight, than was I able to learn my lesson. God pulled me out when I was totally veering off course and when I was totally oblivious to it. But I had to go through the hurt, the hurt of being hurt and of having hurt another to learn my lesson hard and well.
The second instance I can remember is when I was in a CCA in NP. Yeah I was in ultimate frisbee and I was really pretty good, the irony being that I was a really good runner and I could catch the frisbee well (Like a dog la I felt). Because I was able to provide such a value to the team, they allowed me to be on their competition squad and that was a really great honour! I felt proud of myself, because I had never really been part of a sports team and I loved the feeling of being needed! But then slowly as stressed kicked in when school term came full swing, Sundays were the only time I could spend with my church peers and I loved and cherished those moments. Frisbee was talking up almost everyday of the week and now it had begun to intrude on my Sundays cos that's when the competition was. I hated that, I hated that it took away the thing I cherished the most and one day, I just stopped going for the competitions. I didn't even tell anyone, not my competition squad because I just couldn't face them. I gave them the excuse that I had church but nothing else. Slowly but surely, I stopped going for trainings. I could never face my team members after that. When I walked into school, they would be training at the admin field at the school bus stop and I remember always keeping my head down as I felt their eyes burning into the back of my neck.
The third instance I can remember is when I was taking my NAPHA in my final year of poly. Throughout the year, I had been training really hard for my 2.4, doing intervals almost every day and doing strength training every other day. Then came the day and I pretty much went through everything quite smoothly. Finally when 2.4 came, I was pretty confident. But alas, when it was down to my last 2 laps, something in me just felt like giving up. I knew I could push myself, I knew I could run even faster, but I just started slowing down, overwhelmed with a feeling of boredom and a sense of, "Aiyah I know I can do it can liao, no need to prove it." I felt so disappointed after that, seriously!? Running away from running and trying my best? That's just sad.
The fifth instance I can remember, is with all my assignments in NP. I am more than ok to submit work that is passable. The funny thing is, I won't be ok when I don't get a good grade. Like I just want to get it over and done with and what makes me feel ok about it, is that same feeling of "Aiyah, I know I can do it can liao, no need to prove it."
Actually I realise for all this instances, it was always that feeling that made me give less than my best.
In my relationship: Aiyah, I know I can be a good boyfriend, no need to prove it.
In my sports team: Aiyah, I know I am good, no need to prove it.
In my NAPHA test: Aiyah, I know I am fast, no need to prove it.
In my assignments: Aiyah, I know I am capable and intelligent, no need to prove it.
And even now for StageMax: Aiyah, I know I am creative and I am able to manage and lead a team, no need to prove it.
StageMax. StageMax was really the point where God really begun to reveal all these chao kuans to me.
It is just so huge - with so many things to do, so many expectations to manage, and so much time and energy involved...
Like you want me to brainstorm the idea, sure! You want me to help train the drama students, by all means! You want me to take care of people and to remind them about the gospel, by gosh that would be such a privilege.
You want me to lead the team and co-ordinate everything, err..... :/ Can I not?
There were many moments where I prayed, "I hope my NS comes earlier, so that I have a legitimate reason to get out of it, to not see it through to the end."
All this time, I felt I had my life all together, with the confidence being the way God has made me.
I mean look at the many instances where Jesus let his disciples wet their pants, walking over the water, sleeping through a storm, what a trollolol! Yet He only intends good for them.
In my own life, there were also many times where I felt like God had left me on my own to kinda work it out, and that scared me, that scared me a lot.
Like this dang Uni application thing, it's such a bother! All my poly life, I didn't consider carefully how the decisions I make and the actions I took would affect it. I chose to intentionally ignore it, under the cover, "Let tomorrow worry for itself, for today I will just learn to faithfully do what God has placed before me." Don't get me wrong, I do believe in that statement and I believe firmly in it. Sometimes we just worry to much about everything around us that we end up not doing anything positive at all! But this uni application revealed to me something about myself that I had hidden for a long time, from God (well, I tried), from the people around me and even myself.
I'm a runner. (Well yeah I guess I can run kinda fast)
But not that kind of athlete, I'm a runner in the sense that I like to run away from things that require me to plant my foot down.
The first instance I can remember, is during my first two relationships in Secondary school.
I ran away from those because I was so afraid of getting hurt, of not only letting them down, but letting myself down. I did get back into one of those relationships in the end, and I really thought wow this could be it, this is the one and I'm ready to give my life to her and for her. But yeah u see, this is where God's wonderful sense of humour comes in. He put in me the fear, the fear of failing Him and of disappointing Him and I just couldn't have that. After a talk with one of my best bros, I decided that it was better of to end it. I realised that it was only on hind sight, than was I able to learn my lesson. God pulled me out when I was totally veering off course and when I was totally oblivious to it. But I had to go through the hurt, the hurt of being hurt and of having hurt another to learn my lesson hard and well.
The second instance I can remember is when I was in a CCA in NP. Yeah I was in ultimate frisbee and I was really pretty good, the irony being that I was a really good runner and I could catch the frisbee well (Like a dog la I felt). Because I was able to provide such a value to the team, they allowed me to be on their competition squad and that was a really great honour! I felt proud of myself, because I had never really been part of a sports team and I loved the feeling of being needed! But then slowly as stressed kicked in when school term came full swing, Sundays were the only time I could spend with my church peers and I loved and cherished those moments. Frisbee was talking up almost everyday of the week and now it had begun to intrude on my Sundays cos that's when the competition was. I hated that, I hated that it took away the thing I cherished the most and one day, I just stopped going for the competitions. I didn't even tell anyone, not my competition squad because I just couldn't face them. I gave them the excuse that I had church but nothing else. Slowly but surely, I stopped going for trainings. I could never face my team members after that. When I walked into school, they would be training at the admin field at the school bus stop and I remember always keeping my head down as I felt their eyes burning into the back of my neck.
The third instance I can remember is when I was taking my NAPHA in my final year of poly. Throughout the year, I had been training really hard for my 2.4, doing intervals almost every day and doing strength training every other day. Then came the day and I pretty much went through everything quite smoothly. Finally when 2.4 came, I was pretty confident. But alas, when it was down to my last 2 laps, something in me just felt like giving up. I knew I could push myself, I knew I could run even faster, but I just started slowing down, overwhelmed with a feeling of boredom and a sense of, "Aiyah I know I can do it can liao, no need to prove it." I felt so disappointed after that, seriously!? Running away from running and trying my best? That's just sad.
The fifth instance I can remember, is with all my assignments in NP. I am more than ok to submit work that is passable. The funny thing is, I won't be ok when I don't get a good grade. Like I just want to get it over and done with and what makes me feel ok about it, is that same feeling of "Aiyah, I know I can do it can liao, no need to prove it."
Actually I realise for all this instances, it was always that feeling that made me give less than my best.
In my relationship: Aiyah, I know I can be a good boyfriend, no need to prove it.
In my sports team: Aiyah, I know I am good, no need to prove it.
In my NAPHA test: Aiyah, I know I am fast, no need to prove it.
In my assignments: Aiyah, I know I am capable and intelligent, no need to prove it.
And even now for StageMax: Aiyah, I know I am creative and I am able to manage and lead a team, no need to prove it.
StageMax. StageMax was really the point where God really begun to reveal all these chao kuans to me.
It is just so huge - with so many things to do, so many expectations to manage, and so much time and energy involved...
Like you want me to brainstorm the idea, sure! You want me to help train the drama students, by all means! You want me to take care of people and to remind them about the gospel, by gosh that would be such a privilege.
You want me to lead the team and co-ordinate everything, err..... :/ Can I not?
There were many moments where I prayed, "I hope my NS comes earlier, so that I have a legitimate reason to get out of it, to not see it through to the end."
All this time, I felt I had my life all together, with the confidence being the way God has made me.
“And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: ‘The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God's creation. 15“‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot!16 So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.17 For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. 18 I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. 19 Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.
- Revelations 3:14 - 19
And now when I am left with so many options with what to do with my life, I am afraid of becoming indecisive, of being lukewarm once more, of committing and of putting my foot down. I know there is no model answer to life that anyone can give me, there's no golden ray of light shining down from heaven to light the way. The comparison is between not only good options, but also good motivations.
For now I have resolved, to just try and to accept the consequences as they come.
I'll try my best for StageMax, where I fail, I fail.
For what do I have in me? Thinking about all these things... Not very much.
So what if I am capable?
So what if I am intelligent?
So what if I am athletic?
So what if I am friendly?
If I don't remain consistent and resilient to live these gifts from God out in my life, it means noth...
At the end of the day, all I really have is Christ.
I cling to Him, I lean on Him, I plead with Him, I cry to Him and ask Him to change me.
To help me, to grow me, to mould me and to refine me with fire so that one day, I may come out as a pure gem, one that has been tested by fire and is ready for His use.
All I have is Christ
Verse 1
I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still
Verse 2
But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace
Chorus
Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life
Verse 3
Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
O Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You
I once was lost in darkest night
Yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy and life
Had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own
A rebel to Your will
And if You had not loved me first
I would refuse You still
Verse 2
But as I ran my hell-bound race
Indifferent to the cost
You looked upon my helpless state
And led me to the cross
And I beheld God’s love displayed
You suffered in my place
You bore the wrath reserved for me
Now all I know is grace
Chorus
Hallelujah! All I have is Christ
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life
Verse 3
Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone
And live so all might see
The strength to follow Your commands
Could never come from me
O Father, use my ransomed life
In any way You choose
And let my song forever be
My only boast is You
Monday, March 4, 2013
Repentance is...
Recently, I've just begun a devotional material titled, "The Journey to the Cross". The material was crafted by a church for the purpose of preparing the heart's of the people of God for Good Friday.
I am only into Day 6 of the material and so far, I've come to learn so much about what repentance really is and how it is such an essential part of the Christian life.
When I was young, I used to think that repentance was all about feeling guilty, ashamed of the mess that I have made and feeling all dog gone sorry for myself. I believed that the worse I felt, the better I would become, somehow, well, one way or another. But the problem was, I never finally knew what to do. All the moping and the moaning was just so tiring that after awhile, I learnt to either ignore what I've done or worse still, grow accustomed to it as if it was no big deal.
The problem was that I had a totally wrong idea of what repentance is.
Repentance isn't so much about feeling sorry for yourself,
OR
Beating yourself up over it,
OR
Taking on a mystical drive for self-improvement.
Repentance is, about turning away from that which distracts and entangles and returning to Jesus, with a heart that is wholly devoted to Him and His way.
I am only into Day 6 of the material and so far, I've come to learn so much about what repentance really is and how it is such an essential part of the Christian life.
When I was young, I used to think that repentance was all about feeling guilty, ashamed of the mess that I have made and feeling all dog gone sorry for myself. I believed that the worse I felt, the better I would become, somehow, well, one way or another. But the problem was, I never finally knew what to do. All the moping and the moaning was just so tiring that after awhile, I learnt to either ignore what I've done or worse still, grow accustomed to it as if it was no big deal.
The problem was that I had a totally wrong idea of what repentance is.
Repentance isn't so much about feeling sorry for yourself,
OR
Beating yourself up over it,
OR
Taking on a mystical drive for self-improvement.
Repentance is, about turning away from that which distracts and entangles and returning to Jesus, with a heart that is wholly devoted to Him and His way.
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