No longer I, so I no longer fear

Indeed, it is Christ who lives,

In me,

For me.

When I forget that it is He who gives,

Mercy and grace,

To love Him and Him alone,

Love for all others crumbles into oblivion. 

For on my own, what would be my gain? 

To give, give all of myself,

If not only that Christ be made known and glorified. 

Oh Lord, let it be that I should only want,

With my soul, my life, my all,

To ever only desire to please You

And never to find satisfaction in my own comfort.

Never for one moment may I seek to find a quiet solace for my soul alone,

But that my brothers and sisters and all those around may too,

Come to find their everlasting joy in a life lived with You,

By You,

For You and You alone. 

Space

When time freezes over
And the moment is stuck in replay.

What you want to keep stays lodged
In your mind,
But sometimes really what matters is put aside.

Why do we put ourselves through
The trauma, I'll never know.

Yet still in the midst of the pain,
there lies a quiet solace where
Only reliving it once more may
The memories slowly fade away...

What is one event in your life that has changed you as a person?

Life is truly a beautiful work of art. We will never be able to fully appreciate it until the day it is finally completed. From the vast expanse of the skies, to the depths of the deepest oceans, the glory of a sunset sky, to the intricacy of human life itself. Each day, I can but only stand amazed and marvel at how this giant canvas is slowly unraveling itself before me.

Having said that, it can be a terrifying thought, not knowing what lies ahead. Everyday, we are forced to make decisions, be it big or small that could change the course of our fate. But one thing I believe, is that every breath I take, is a gift not to be taken for granted and that with whatever ability and wisdom I’ve been given, I must put it to use for the benefit of others.

As much as I’d like to just sit here and imagine how perfect the world is, such as the case of the colours of a rainbow, I know that there are people out there who are dying, alone, with no comfort or even hope. Though I know that I can’t do everything to help, but truly as the songwriter Josh Wilson puts it, “I refuse to do nothing.”

This desire, to try and live selflessly for others begin one Sunday morning, as I was listening to the band in church playing a famous hymn called ‘It is Well with My Soul’. At the end of the day, the lyrics of the hymn left a deep tugging in my heart to find out the story behind the song. What I found out shook me to the core.

The story goes that Horatio G. Spafford, a Christian lawyer, was about to venture on a missionary trip to Great Britain. Wanting to give his family of four daughters and his wife a short vacation due to the calamities that had befallen them two years before, he arranged for them to travel together to Europe. However, Horatio was delayed due to an urgent business transaction he had to make. Nevertheless, he sent the rest of his family ahead on the S.S. Ville du Havre, planning to follow in a few days time. Alas, the ship carrying Horatio’s family was struck by another vessel and in a matter of minutes, it was lying at the bottom of the sea. A few days later, Horatio simply received two words from his wife, ‘saved alone’, sealing the fate of his four daughters.

What moved me, was that Horatio still went on his trip and as he passed the exact spot where the ship had sunk, he penned down the words of the song, acknowledging his sorrow but yet, holding on firmly to the hope that he was soon to share with the people in Britain.

This is how the first stanza goes:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

I wanna be able to stand before God, and hear Him say those words

"With You my child, I'm well pleased."

that's all

that's enough for me

from all the hurt i could've done to people

from all the love I could've stolen from a girl

from all the joys i could've stolen from my friends

He kept me from doing all that

and helped me to love Him and love others

That's enough

The Undeniable Power of Love

I've been contemplating for long, how to share this.
For this is something that has gripped me hard and for long enough a time.
Everytime I think about it, it still rips me apart from the inside and I believe that the only way
to move on, is to accept that it did happen and to recognise that's the first step to coming out a
better man of God, to love Him purely and passionately as well as for my brothers and sisters around me.

Love, we think it all happens in a moment. A flutter of the heart, a weird funny feeling we get in our tummies, sweet melodies that play in our heads all day... And then it begins.

Holding hands, exchanging promises, long hours on the phone and a million more by each other.
How far does it go? How far deep does it go into your heart? Very.
Each and every moment, is magical, each and every touch, is just out of this world.

For one single moment in your life, you suddenly realise you are part of somebody else's and you think to yourself:
"What if this could be and everyday of my life?" "What if?"

And then you begin, what if it doesn't last? What if it ends this very moment? It grips you hard and it
makes you toss and turn all night. You start to think, no, what could I do to make sure it doesn't happen?

Sometimes, when that happens, you realise that the relationship becomes a battle to retain what you love, for yourself.
It is no longer one where you do all things for the other's benefit, selflessly.
It is no longer one where you truly give of all yourself so that another might experience love.
It is no longer one, or maybe, it was never in the first place, one where you grew together in the experience of serving and honouring the Lord joyfully together with all of your lives, encouraging and spurring one another on to loving Him first, and to loving His people together as one.

But then it happens, just as you were coming to terms with the reality of the problem, the gaping hole that would tear any two lives apart in a split second - you enter deeply into another one's soul with one kiss.

You know how they say in movies or in fairytales, the power of a true love's kiss.

I wouldn't say every kiss was out of true love, but I believe the way that God designed a kiss, was truly beyond human control, comprehension and ability.

The design of a kiss.
It joins two lives deeply together in intimacy, a sharing of each other's flesh, a bridge between two souls.
This is a bond that truly is not meant for anything less then a relationship that was built upon God as the center of it, between two that has already become one in marriage.

Because on one hand, it can build you up, for the intertwining of two beings becoming one is a powerful force, especially between two lives that has been groomed and moulded by God for His work. This is when two really is better than one.
Two people who love Christ, who love His people, who wants to make Him known and to continue glorifying Him in the life that He has now given them to live in harmony forever.

On the other, it will tear you apart, for how does one become two again?
One can only become two halves, definitely less than the whole they were once.

That is why, a kiss, a touch, or even a simple word of love, is sacred.
For this is all the beginning of something way beyond man.

So be careful my friends, for you might be entering into realms which you are not prepared for.
May the good Lord continue to guide you into all understand of His truths, that you may live a life as He has intended.

My prayer in this lifetime, for myself, and for any of you who have come to terms with the sovereignty of the Lord is -

That may He keep my heart asleep to love, till the day He pleases. But till that moment, may He take my life, my entire life to doing His will solely by His terms and not mine, to loving all and not just one, equally and unmeasurably, selflessly and compassionately, all who are lost, all who are searching, all who have found, God as their King.

Flowery Language

Like a rose, our lives can seem so fragile...

The first petal - A break up.

The second petal - A fight with your parents.

The third petal - Lost a loved one.

Life begins to lose it's colour,

seems like the end is nearing,

but I've just got to stop and ask the question,

do we stop here or just keep carrying on.

But no, the question needs not be answered, for it's evident to me.

For an unspeakable force sends help from above,

And I find myself moving on, growing stronger day by day.

Tall again I can stand, not by anything that I could have done.

Bright and alive, I'm ready again to meet what the lies ahead!

It's a miracle, one that I just can't understand.

As many questions that are left unanswered, the answers are all out there waiting.

Just a peek out the window, and I can't help but stand amazed -

The wide open sky, 

the white clouds hanging high,

the deep blue ocean,

a baby being born yet another creation.

And there at that moment I know, I just know it

that like a petal, I'm not on my own.

That like stem, I was created for something more than myself,

even though I may not see it at the present time.

Just peering out into the marvel of life's inexplicable phases,

I begin to sense a work that has been spun into action way before time.

The work that was shown to us, on one very Christmas day.

Single-mindedness

So here I am, still halfway through my trip in Melaka and I'm totally amazed that there is actually WiFi here!

It's only day 3 but yet, this place is starting to feel like home.

The friendships I've made, not only with the people I'm working with, but also with the children that I've encountered through the many assembly programs and WOW hour lessons.

I will miss them, I will really miss them. I know I've said it once two years ago during my first trip, but even more so this time. This time, I no longer am satisfied, to be doing half the work, only engaging the children at the first level. I can no longer just teach and be contented, that they've learnt a few more grammar words, or how to express themselves more freely.

I want to be a part of their lives - watching them grow day by day, guiding them through life's ups and downs. But more than that, I want to help them see, that there is so much more to be lived in this life, for we were created for something way beyond ourselves.

 So much more, that it took the Son of God to lay down His very own life on the cross, that for those who truly believe may be able to relate to God.

I want to this, with my life, my entire life.

My soul
My life
My all
Laid down for the sake of truth
For many have not come to see
That God reigns high and lifted up

My heart
My will
My hands
I put them to work for the life I live
For given to me it was from God
To make Him known for eternity.

One life is all I have
One man is all I am
But a fool is he
Who fails to see
God and His Kingdom's reach