What if you suddenly realise, that no matter what you do, it still counts as inadequate?
What if you suddenly realise, that no matter how you do it, it still turns out insufficient?
Many times, I feel like giving up. Why God, why?
Why is it so hard to truly and completely love You? Why is it so hard, to please You in the things I do? Why is it that no matter what I do, I never seem to be able to reach Your standard, or even come close to doing so? Why is my mind filled with so many vile thoughts of contempt,
thoughts that hurt,
thoughts that punish,
thoughts that lie,
thoughts that deny.
thoughts that hurt,
thoughts that punish,
thoughts that lie,
thoughts that deny.
Why, when You are so big, do I look upon You so insignificantly...
Why, when You are the author of all, do I turn my face away from my Creator?
consecrated, Lord, to thee;
take my moments and my days,
let them flow in ceaseless praise.
Take my hands, and let them move
at the impulse of thy love;
take my feet, and let them be
swift and beautiful for thee.
Take my voice, and let me sing
always, only, for my King;
take my lips, and let them be
filled with messages from thee.
Take my silver and my gold,
not a mite would I withhold;
take my intellect, and use
every power as thou shalt choose.
Take my will and make it thine;
it shall be no longer mine.
take my heart, it is thine own;
it shall be thy royal throne.
Take my love; my Lord, I pour
at thy feet its treasure store;
take my self, and I will be
ever, only, all for thee.
Indeed my Lord, my God, take my life, my whole life and use it solely for Your Kingdom.
Take my will, take my heart, take my all, that I may never stray from Your Courts.
Let me be thy servant, ready to do Your will, ready to trust, ready to obey.
Let me be thy child, that I may follow You, that I may never forget You.
Do you truly know what points you are trying to make? What are you trying to say?
No. No I don't... I'm, confused. I don't know what I know... Is what I know what I should know?
What exactly is Love? What is wrong with loving ourselves? Why have You chosen me?
Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
What does this mean? What EXACTLY does this mean? How does knowing this impact and change my life? That Christ died for us, when we were dead. Dead, no ability to live, no ability to seek, no ability to love, no ability to breathe, no ability to sing, no ability to play soccer, no ability to laugh, no ability to cry, no ability to smile, no ability to say hello, no ability to hug, no ability to live for what I was created for.
Sometimes, I just get so paralyzed in my own fear... Fear that I will never live up to somebody else's expectation... Fear that I'm not living life the way God intended for me... Fear that I'm not able to move in the right direction... Fear that I am not able to understand the things I should understand...
I used to think that, I've been a Christian for so many years but yet... Why am I still so inadequate? Even now, after going through so many bible study sessions, supervisions, scoldings, corrections, sermons, holding various responsibilities... Why do I fail so much in comparison?
Isaiah 6:5 Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the king, the LORD of hosts!
Isaiah 6:3 And one called to another and said: "Holy, holy,holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!'
Oh God, let me always remember that it is You who enable me to live, to truly live. For having to live apart from You, is not living at all.... Living a life that is separate from Your will, is not worth living at all... You gave us an eternal life, to truly know and love an amazing God.
How amazing?
That I may take a lifetime to discover
How awesome?
I would have to search beyond the deepest oceans to uncover
But one thing I know for sure, that You are my God and that You will never leave me and I know Your word is true.
He gave us all
He had to give
He had to give
So that we could truly be free
Free from the punishment, the torment of being eternally separated from God, everything that is good, true and beautiful. To live an unwasted life, to truly respond in but only trust and obedience in all that You are and all that You have done.
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